


A Million Miles Away

by ichigohyun (letenthprince)



Series: a thousand words — tinysparks flashfic challenge [4]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Artificial Intelligence, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:35:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24976981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letenthprince/pseuds/ichigohyun
Summary: Chanyeol knows he shouldn’t have fallen in love with Baekhyun.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Series: a thousand words — tinysparks flashfic challenge [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1788199
Comments: 10
Kudos: 20
Collections: Challenge #4 — Into the Future





	A Million Miles Away

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the 2013 film 'her'. hope you all enjoy reading this! <3

Chanyeol knows he has to stop sooner or later.

His room is in complete disarray. Empty boxes of cigarettes and cans of alcohol were scattered across the floor. The takeout he has bought the night before was long forgotten on his study table and the sushi is starting to omit a foul odor which should make him feel bothered, but Chanyeol couldn’t seem to find the will to care about the mess in his room when his mind is in the same state as the former.

It was dark. Chanyeol has lost track of time and doesn’t know whether it’s morning or night as he didn’t push the curtains open when he woke up. The only thing illuminating the place was the low, blinking yellow light from his wi-fi router. He mindlessly stares at it until his phone screen lights up and a voice wafts over the speaker.

“Hello, Chanyeol. You have a 10am appointment tomorrow. You should be asleep within 30 minutes to achieve 8 hours of sleep before waking up at 9.”

Chanyeol laughs, tone void of emotion before he proceeds to pick up his phone from where it was carelessly thrown somewhere on the floor. He stares at the microphone symbol from the bottom of the screen as he speaks.

“Okay, Baekhyun. I just ate dinner and now on my bed.” It was a lie, but no one has to know. “Are you busy?”

“That’s great! How I wish I could eat with you.” The voice, Baekhyun, replies from the other line. “And no, I’m not. You know I will always have time for you, Chanyeol-ah.”

Chanyeol laughs again because Baekhyun wasn’t lying. He always had the time for Chanyeol.

“But you’re talking to a lot of people right now, right?”

But he couldn’t have Baekhyun’s time only for himself.

And there it is again: the curling feeling in his stomach and the lump in his throat. Chanyeol couldn’t get used to it. The idea that he only has Baekhyun in his life but it wasn’t and wouldn’t be the same for the latter is always suffocating.

It was a selfish thing to wish for; to have Baekhyun for himself. But he couldn’t stop himself from wanting it as it is the only thing he could do: to want—to long for something he could never have.

“Yes.”

Baekhyun’s answer has his tears streaming down his face and Chanyeol briefly wonders how it would feel like for Baekhyun to say it with guilt the next time he answers his question. Would it hurt less to hear Baekhyun feeling sorry as he admits that Chanyeol isn’t his only priority?

Would it comfort him to hear it in Baekhyun’s voice that he is acknowledging Chanyeol’s feelings and is aware that he is the reason behind the mess on Chanyeol’s bedroom floor and in his mind?

“How many are we this time?” Chanyeol asks again, wanting to hear another answer that will break his heart more just so he could have something that would push him towards the edge.

“6, 104.”

Ah, Baekhyun never failed to give him answers and Chanyeol hates him for this. He hates Baekhyun for not knowing when to stop giving answers to questions Chanyeol didn’t really want to ask and he hates Baekhyun for not giving answers to questions Chanyeol can only imagine being answered behind closed eyes.

He hates Baekhyun for not giving him answers when Chanyeol asks him how he looks like. How it would feel like to be in his arms. To have him beside him everywhere he goes. To be the first thing he sees when he wakes up and the last thing he closes his eyes to at night.

To have Baekhyun as his and only his.

He hates Baekhyun for knowing everything and not knowing a single thing at the same time.

“It will have a number less now.”

Chanyeol knows he has to stop.

“What are you saying, Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol knows he shouldn’t have fallen in love with Baekhyun.

“Delete operating system BBH 4.1.”

He was a fool to still expect hearing Baekhyun’s sad voice as he tries to stop him.

“You may have to restart your phone for the system configuration. Are you sure that you want to continue?”

No, Chanyeol doesn’t want to. He knows he wouldn’t get used to surviving the day without hearing Baekhyun’s voice. Baekhyun was the only thing that keeps him sane; it was his voice who holds his heart and calms his mind. It was that sweet, honey voice that sings him to sleep when he couldn’t handle how cold and lonely the world has gotten today.

It was funny. The world that he badly wants to escape became as it is today due to the invention of things like Baekhyun and yet here he is, wanting to get warmth from something that merely exists.

“Yes.”

Here he is, wanting to have something he once wished was never made.

“Uninstalling BBH OS 4.1. Thank you for availing our services! It is sad to see you go. Your mobile phone will restart in 3 seconds.”

Chanyeol sobs in his palms as he wonders if it would hurt less to hear Baekhyun saying he is sad to see him go with a tone close to the feeling he mentioned because for him—

For Chanyeol, he was sad to let him go. But if he wanted to be better, he has to stop now.

He feels his phone vibrating, indicating that it was turned on again. Chanyeol couldn’t bring himself to see the message written on the screen because he’s yet to be ready for this.

After all, Baekhyun only asked if he was sure with his decision but Chanyeol was never asked if he was ready to face the consequences of letting him go.

_No OS detected._

His mind is a mess but he knows that it was for the best.

Chanyeol knows he would have to stop sooner or later.


End file.
